(continued) Chapter 3: Singapore (2000-2007 / 2008 - 2009)
[Trigger alert- heavy content]
Everything happens for a reason. Even though you don’t see it in that moment.
In Sep 2007, I switched jobs and moved briefly to Hong Kong to be closer to the boyfriend. It was one of the boldest things I’ve done, since I had no idea where that relationship was going yet. In Dec 2007, after fully recovering from the accident (yes, it took a while!), my mum visited Hong Kong. I couldn’t wait for her to meet the boy. I was nervous, but the meeting couldn’t have gone better. We picked a seaside restaurant, ordered loaded nachos, dug in with our hands, and laughed so much. I was overjoyed.
One evening I asked my mum, “How do you know if someone is the one”. And she replied. “You never do really. The only thing you can do is test them in good and bad times. Good times are a ton and easy to test. It’s the tough times that are harder to find.” Little did she know that in a few weeks, she would prove her own statement wrong.
Jan 12, 2008. I can never forget the day. We had our first big couple fight. There was anger on both sides, and we’d planned to meet at a cafe at 4pm to talk it out. In retrospect, it wasn’t a big deal at all. We also had a pizza dinner + movie booked with some friends after. We met, chatted, and life seemed normal again. Pizza was delicious, and with a full belly we got on to the famous Hong Kong city tram for a little ride before the movie. 7pm, my phone rang. I glanced at my phone - it was mum. It was noisy, but I excitedly picked up and said “Guess where I am mummy!”. Silence. Dad spoke. I sensed something wasn’t right the minute I heard his voice on mums mobile. “Oh hi” I’d said “kya ho raha hai “ (what’s happening?). His voice was broken and barely audible. I only heard words “Shuchi…….mummy……robbery……murder”.
I must’ve collapsed because I don’t remember the next few hours. Or the next few weeks or months after that phone call. In a single instant, my entire life - our entire lives- had been turned upside down. In an instant a lot had been taken away. In an instant, I was numb.
I rushed to India with my brother, wishing every minute I would wake up to a dream. I can’t sum up the days or weeks that followed in any number of sentences, but I only remember I tried very hard to make sense of it all. I simply couldn’t. This is stuff you read in the news, it’s not real. It doesn’t happen to real families. Ah, but it does. The rest of 2008 is a complete blur. And all I remember now of those days are the people who were by my side.
My mum was a good person, the glue of the family, a simple & kind heart, an artist, the best cook, the queen of rescue recipes. She could’ve done much more in life, but decided to put family first. I concluded (after many years of the incident) that perhaps this was the challenge, the tough times, she needed me to test, in order to create my own family. Cruel.
I don’t talk about this. Ever. So it has been tough to pen it down. And as I relive that pain, I couldn’t think of a better recipe to commemorate her than one that is something sweet, and born out of disaster. An ungreased brownie pan, several broken brownies, and an accidental custard led me to create this ‘rescue’ pudding.
Take a bite. Hope it helps you see reason during the trying times in your life.
Ingredients
For the brownies
180 g semisweet dark chocolate, broken into pieces
100 g milk chocolate, broken into pieces
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
110 g unsalted butter
3 eggs
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
Dash of vanilla essence
3/4 cup whole wheat flour (Indian atta)
1 cup fresh ripe cherries, pitted and cut into pieces
For the cardamom milk creme
1.5 cups + 2 tablespoons whole milk
2 tablespoons condensed milk
3 green cardamoms, crushed
1 tablespoon corn starch or plain custard powder
Sugar to taste
Method
Make the brownies
(This is my classic brownie recipe, with a few substitutions - fresh seasonal juicy cherries in place of nuts/chocolate chips and healthier wholewheat flour (commonly known as Atta in India) instead of all purpose white flour)
Sift together the flour and salt and keep aside.
Preheat the oven to 350F / 180 C, and grease a brownie pan or mini muffin pan and keep aside.
Melt together both the chocolates and butter on a water bath (i.e. in a pot placed over another pot of simmering water) till smooth. Mix in the cocoa powder & sugar, and mix well. Let the mixture cool a bit. Once cooled, add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. The mixture will begin to thicken and start to come together. Stir in the vanilla essence and finally add the flour + salt mixture. Mix just enough to incorporate the flour into the batter. Finally add the cherries, reserving some to sprinkle on top.
Bake the brownies for 20-25 minutes, till a toothpick comes out almost clean, with little bits of cooked batter sticking to it. Unlike cake, if you wait for the toothpick to come out completely clean, the centre will overcook and dry out. Also, if you are using a mini muffin pan, they'll bake much quicker (under 20 minutes), so keep an eye (and nose!) out for them. You definitely do not want to over bake these - a brownie is only as good as it's fudgy centre! However, if you do over bake them, rest assured that this pudding will cover that flaw.
Once baked, cool the brownies to room temperature. These can be stored in airtight container for a week in cool weather. In summer, I'd store them in the fridge after 1-2 days.
Make the cardamom milk creme
In a deep pot, bring 1.5 cups of milk + condensed milk + cardamom to a simmer. Mix the corn starch or custard powder in 2 tbsp milk, and slowly add to the simmering milk. The mixture will begin to thicken. Reduce the heat to a low simmer, and let the milk thicken to half its initial volume. Discard the cardamom skins, adjust sugar, and pour the syrup in mini dessert cups, filling about 1/3rd. Reserve some for the top of the puddings. Refrigerate the cups to chill - the creme will thicken further.
When ready to eat, warm the brownies a little and crush them on top of the cardamom creme. Add more syrup on top. Enjoy the hot and cold, cherry, chocolate and cardamom, do a wonderful dance in your mouth!
